I once read a sentence that deeply affected me. It gave me a fresh perspective, and that is why it stayed with me. The sentence was this:<\/p>\n
\u201cEveryone thinks they are someone special, and in that sense they are very ordinary. Only when they realize they are ordinary do they become someone special.\u201d<\/p>\n
It is a strange sentence\u2014one that requires attention and focus\u2014and its tension and contradiction are fascinating.<\/p>\n
We all imagine that we are very unique people. And in a way, we are<\/em>. There is only one version of ourselves in this entire world. Every single person around us is unique\u2014special<\/em>\u2014a one-person universe, singular and unmatched.<\/p>\n But this does not mean that the issues, problems, and laws of existence change their course when they reach us or create an exception for us.<\/p>\n It does not mean that disasters, pains, or illnesses are not meant for us.<\/p>\n These days I\u2019m listening to Irvin Yalom\u2019s book Man\u2019s Search for Meaning in a Single Day<\/em>. Like most of Yalom\u2019s works, it is valuable and impactful.<\/p>\n There, Yalom shows how people, when faced with a terminal illness, move from denial to disbelief. Beyond the universal fear and denial of death, the point relevant to this discussion is our belief in our own specialness.<\/p>\n As if we think we shouldn\u2019t<\/em> get cancer, or become paralyzed in an accident, or lose a child, or endure any of the countless other trials\u2026<\/p>\n When faced with hardship or tragedy, we often ask:<\/p>\n Why me?<\/p>\n Why my family?<\/p>\n Why\u2026 why?<\/p>\n A sentence in the book struck me deeply and remained with me:<\/p>\n \u201cI am certainly not a special person.\u201d<\/p>\n Which is both obvious and strangely unbelievable.<\/p>\n We are special and we are not.<\/p>\n We are ordinary and we are not.<\/p>\n Perhaps this is the essence of the matter:<\/p>\n the human being, full of contradictions and shadowed brightness.<\/p>\n We are all very ordinary\u2014as long as we think we are special, because that belief is universal.<\/p>\n But when we accept that we, too, are ordinary, mortal, and exposed to accidents, illness, and death\u2014perhaps only then do we become different from the rest.<\/p>\n If we see everyone as special\u2014from the shopkeeper and the driver and the classroom teacher to those around us\u2014and see ourselves as ordinary in our humanity, in our fallibility, in our incompleteness, and in our vulnerability to disaster, illness, and nonexistence\u2026<\/p>\n At that moment, a transformation has occurred.<\/p>\n