{"id":1850,"date":"2026-07-15T14:38:22","date_gmt":"2026-07-15T11:08:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/drhamidyousefi.com\/managing-childrens-stubborn-behavior\/"},"modified":"2026-07-15T14:38:22","modified_gmt":"2026-07-15T11:08:22","slug":"managing-childrens-stubborn-behavior","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/drhamidyousefi.com\/en\/managing-childrens-stubborn-behavior\/","title":{"rendered":"Managing Children&#8217;s Stubborn Behavior"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a complete, natural English translation that preserves both the meaning and the professional tone of the original:<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h1><strong>Three Common Parenting Mistakes That Make a Child&#8217;s Stubbornness Worse<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p>When it comes to managing stubborn behavior in children, there are <strong>three very common parenting mistakes<\/strong> that, from the perspective of behavioral and developmental psychology, <strong>unintentionally reinforce stubbornness<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>These mistakes usually stem from parents&#8217; good intentions, but they often produce the opposite result.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h2>1. Getting Into a Power Struggle with Your Child<\/h2>\n<p>One of the most common parenting mistakes is engaging in a <strong>battle of wills<\/strong> with your child.<\/p>\n<p><strong>A common example:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Child:<\/strong> &#8220;I don&#8217;t want to go to bed!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Parent:<\/strong> &#8220;You have to go to bed, no matter what!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In this situation, bedtime is no longer the child&#8217;s main concern. Instead, the goal becomes <strong>winning the conflict<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>From a developmental psychology perspective, the child is trying to <strong>protect their sense of autonomy<\/strong>. The more direct pressure the parent applies, the stronger the child&#8217;s resistance becomes.<\/p>\n<h3>A Better Approach<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Reduce direct confrontation.<\/li>\n<li>Offer limited choices.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>For example:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Would you like to hear a bedtime story first and then go to sleep, or brush your teeth first and then read the story?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In this approach, <strong>the parent remains in control of the overall framework, while the child feels involved in the decision-making process.<\/strong><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h2>2. Using Unrealistic Threats or Punishments<\/h2>\n<p>Sometimes parents try to stop unwanted behavior by making harsh threats, such as:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;You&#8217;ll never watch cartoons again.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I&#8217;ll take you to the police.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;If you do that again, I won&#8217;t love you anymore.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This approach has several serious drawbacks:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Children quickly realize <strong>the threat isn&#8217;t realistic<\/strong>.<\/li>\n<li>The parent&#8217;s credibility is weakened.<\/li>\n<li>The emotional bond between parent and child can be damaged.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Educational psychology emphasizes that <strong>consequences should be realistic, enforceable, and appropriate to the behavior.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A better example would be:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;If you throw your toys, they&#8217;ll need to be put away for a while.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>This consequence is:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Clear<\/li>\n<li>Enforceable<\/li>\n<li>Directly connected to the behavior<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr \/>\n<h2>3. Giving Too Much Attention to Negative Behavior<\/h2>\n<p>Children are highly <strong>attention-driven<\/strong>. Even negative attention can serve as a form of reward.<\/p>\n<p>When a child:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Screams<\/li>\n<li>Acts stubbornly<\/li>\n<li>Has a dramatic crying episode<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And the parent:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Engages in a lengthy argument<\/li>\n<li>Repeats explanations over and over<\/li>\n<li>Gives the child their full attention<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>A learning cycle is unintentionally created:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Stubborn behavior \u2192 Parent&#8217;s attention \u2192 Reinforcement of the behavior<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Meanwhile, <strong>appropriate and cooperative behavior is often overlooked.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h3>A More Effective Strategy<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Mild negative behavior \u2192 Minimal attention<\/li>\n<li>Positive behavior \u2192 Immediate attention and praise<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>For example:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I noticed you put your shoes on by yourself. Great job!&#8221;<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h1><strong>A Golden Principle of Parenting<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p>Children learn <strong>more from what they experience<\/strong> than from <strong>what they are told<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>In other words:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Consistent boundaries<\/li>\n<li>Predictable consequences<\/li>\n<li>A secure emotional relationship<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>gradually transform stubbornness into <strong>cooperation and self-regulation<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><strong>Lamat Rav\u0101n (Psychology Hub)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This channel shares articles and educational content related to <strong>psychology<\/strong> and <strong>psychiatry<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Channel ID:<\/strong><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/ble.ir\/jamehvasalamtravan\">https:\/\/ble.ir\/jamehvasalamtravan<\/a><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><strong>Dr. Hamid Yousefi<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Psychiatrist<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Website:<br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/www.drhamidyousefi.com\/\">https:\/\/www.drhamidyousefi.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a complete, natural English translation that preserves both the meaning and the professional tone of the original: Three Common &#8230; <a class=\"cz_readmore\" href=\"https:\/\/drhamidyousefi.com\/en\/managing-childrens-stubborn-behavior\/\"><i class=\"fa fa-angle-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i><span>\u0627\u062f\u0627\u0645\u0647 \u0645\u0637\u0644\u0628<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1848,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[92],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1850","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychological-writings"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.3 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - 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