3 Common Mistakes When Dealing with a Person with Depression
When interacting with someone who is depressed, people around them usually intend to help. However, some common reactions can unintentionally make the situation worse. Three frequent mistakes are:
- Simplifying or Invalidating the Person’s Experience
Statements such as:
- “Just think positive.”
- “Many people have it worse than you.”
- “It’s not a big deal.”
The problem with this approach is that depression is not simply a temporary feeling of sadness; it is a biopsychological disorder involving cognitive and neurobiological changes. Such comments often make the person feel misunderstood or weak, which may lead them to withdraw further.
Better alternative:
Active listening and reflecting feelings:
“I understand that things feel really hard right now. If you’d like, you can tell me more about it.”
- Immediate Advice or Superficial Solutions
Some people quickly suggest things like:
- “Go exercise and you’ll feel better.”
- “Take a trip; it will fix your mood.”
- “Just keep yourself busy.”
Although some of these activities can indeed be helpful, when they are presented as quick prescriptions or commands, they may leave the person feeling judged or incapable—because one of the core features of depression is reduced energy and motivation.
Better alternative:
Offer companionship:
“If you’d like, we could go for a short walk together.”
- Blaming or Interpreting Depression as Laziness or Weakness
Sometimes people say things like:
- “Just use your willpower.”
- “You’re being lazy.”
- “You just don’t want to get better.”
This perspective reduces depression to a matter of personality or willpower, whereas evidence shows that disruptions in brain networks related to reward, motivation, and emotion regulation play a role in depression. It is not simply a personal choice.
Better alternative:
Emphasize support and professional help:
“If you want, we can look for a therapist or psychiatrist together.”
Society and Mental Health
Here, writings and materials related to psychology and psychiatry are shared.
ID:
https://ble.ir/jamehvasalamtravan
Dr. Hamid Yousefi’s Website
Psychiatrist
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